Depression

cyn66
oh I am sorry what a terrible cycle. Venting does make one feel better and we are here to listen and help anyway we can.
i agree with you about depression and CFS not being recognized as actual illnesses, its terrible especially when they are so debilitating. Is there anyway you could do freelance work that might allow you a more flexible schedule? I too lost myself in school a bit, became a crutch of sorts so I empathize with your fear in that department. Poly has a great point about looking at it in smaaller chunks...might be less overwhelming that way.

pretzel_logic
The whole ten years thing seems like even more of a life sentence if what is often insinuated on this board proves to be true. That is that no one ever has this crap discharged...ever. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment for those of us who cannot pay.

cynn66
I am sorry that things have been so difficult for you.
When I finally decided to go back to school( as an divorced single
mother) the program I decided on was from the advice of a friend
who was dying at the time. He said "If you didn't have to earn
money, what would you spend your time doing?" We had gone to
school together since elementary school, so I couldn't s#!t him.

So my studies reflected this inborn attraction to my field. I took out
student loans and successfully completed my studies. Now I don't
make a lot of money in my field, but I work on my own time, and am
happy in my work. No, I LOVE my work. My friend passed on about
10 years ago, but not a day goes by that I don't thank him for
assisting me in seeing my road happiness. And it was so simple.

Life is simple. We complicate it with things which are non-existent.
Our deluded views about how "useless" or "deadbeat" or "unfocused"
we are keep us from what we are really meant to do.

Stop worrying about what others think, and look into your heart and
assess what would make you a happy contributng member of
society. Then use the skills you have gained in your studies and
experience to make yourself happy. When you are happy it will be
reflected by those around you.
Chin up! By the looks of your academics you can go in almost any
direction.
What would you do if you didn't have to earn a living? Honestly.

Lola,

I know what I would be doing if I did not have to make money to survive...........

I would be baking cookies.....sewing.......scrapbooking.....painting .... reading novels.........growing a garden......cleaning my house and other household chores.....having a lovely little nappy in the afternoon........preparing a nutritious supper ....helping the kids with homework....running them to their activities....reading bedtime stories... and my list could go on... and on !!!  (Two days a week is simply not enough time to cram it all in--Sat & Sun)

Don't get me wrong........I love my job....but I would volunteer what I do now to a certain degree....... as well as other volunteer jobs in my community.  I didn't mind being a stay-at-home mom in the past... I rather enjoyed it..... and miss it !!!!  Only I have to make money....... no choice here. ( Before it was due to lack of employment opportunities)

So to all those that have the opportunity to be at home.... I am wishing you the best, enjoy it while you are there.

I went to school the first time to pursue the dreams.....I pursued what truly made me happy...... unfortunately it didn't cut it... couldn't obtain financing to further the dreams..... so now it is just an occassional hobby interest that I do when I have the time.  I had to re-school and get a different job........... fortunately for me it was runner-up career.... and I do love it.... as well as feel blessed to have full-time employment for the time being.

Could I grow old doing it.. I think so !!!  When I got into this career, I  asked myself........Do I have to do it for the rest of my life??  My answer was NO..........NO.........NO, not if I did'nt want too !!! 

Until the kids finish school..... that would be nice, then decide from there. So I have basically chunked my life at this point, and that does seem to get me through.  There are times that I count the days until the weekend.....or even chunk a day to get through it...when I am really stressed out.  It seems to make the time go faster.  I am thankful for life and seasons that chunk it for us... we are quite a chunky society !!!  It is all around us..all the time.

We all just happen to be in the student debt stress chunk of it.  I think that I really need to stop stressing about it as much as I am... and go read that novel... or bake those cookies.... paint a picture... and forget about it for small chunks of time..........because I myself suffer from OCD.........and I am starting to obsess a little too much on all this student debt.....and it is really wearing me down.  These days I am thinking about it way tooooooooo much !!!

I need a break.......... Deep down......I know that I will get through it........I have gotten through it thus far.....amazingly so !!!  I will continue to rise and shine.......

Catch you all later !!!!

 

there is a test for CFS... they have found that certain hormones messed in CFS. Here's the link


"Researchers found that people with CFS produced unusually high levels of the hormone melatonin, which stimulates the immune system and plays an important role in promoting sleep. "

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/117791.stm

Mark..thanks for the link..thats news to me! 3 years ago when I was told I had CFS and Fibro my doc said there was really no way of "proving" either one. Meanwhile I had undergone every test known to man because "some" of my symptoms(numbness..dropping things...ect) indicated MS.
Thats really interesting.
Momof2..that IS the worst is justifying to some 'crat that you are "ill" enough. The reange for CFS is so wide and I still believe if you have a medical professional saying you are unable to function 9-5 that should be enough.

silence2long
Wow..that sound lovely but its not indicative of my reality in staying at home. I only have one child in school and my days are spent nursing/cleaning/laundring/cooking. Yes I do play with my 2 kids at home, bake with them on occasion, and do homework with the eldest but painting? Scrapbooking? reading? napping?...not likely.

speaking of depression, here's fuel for the fire...

got reassessed on my 2003 taxes.  no sweat.  an extra 51 bucks in income ( how is it the bank of canada forgets where i live ??), changed nothing.  fine.  open hubbys - he now owes 266 bucks because of tuition transfer credits that can't be transferred ( insert groan here).

we have no choice but to let the interest accrue on the outstanding debt until i can do this years taxes and itll come off his refund.  plus my oil bill is 233 bucks this month.  and i got a notice from collectcorp in the mail regarding an overdue visa - happy monday to me.

Aww mom...that sucks.We did the same thing last year, our reassesment put us higher and we had to wait til the refund this year to pay it back! Don't let it stress u too much.
I keep my fingers crossed for you that at the very least the sl problems get sorted out and it has a trickle down effect on other issues!
Chin up dear!

Higher education...  Any idea what this student loan problem has created?   Suicide, depression, illness... I start to understand why a lot of students are forced into making unethical decisions about their lives.  Who wants to live this way?  Credit ruined, up to your neck in debt and no way out.  By the time you can afford to finish paying, you're over 40 and so depressed and tired and disinterested in having a family.  Especially if you're a woman.  Then you need to worry about how stable your career is if you want to have kids, I mean divorce rate is now around 50%...

I can understand why your neighbour took that route.  It's just a little too tempting.

I wish I knew before I took out the loans.  I'd have opted to work at McDonalds full-time instead. 

I guess the only thing is to be born lucky...

I am aware.  I'm aware that if you're poor, it's very expensive to stay alive.