Several years ago the resource based economy collapsed in British Columbia. I decided that since I had direct experience in fishing, construction and wood salvage that a diploma in Natural Resource Management might get me off the seasonal treadmill and into some full time work. My goal was to obtain a Bachelor of Science but the work was sparse so I went to improve my work skills in cooking.
While attending school I learned that I was ill with hepatitis C. It is a virus that is spread through contaminated blood only. Many do not have symptoms and the disease does not progress much but a few have no symptoms and die from it. I had severe symptoms but mild damage. Hepatitis A and B are highly infectious but C is not.
Treatment lasted 52 weeks, four weeks beyond normal. I tried to work but the medications are very toxic with many side effects such as flu like tremors, lethargy and suicidal ideation. Early in treatment I tried to work but it was very hard. I fought off the lethargy and sold everything I owned. Rather than sit idol for a year I moved to another city to be near my aging mother and to attend further cooking education.
Since I was in school the full force of my debts had not come to bear. But the banks were calling every two weeks and I gave my ‘confidential’ story in earnest all over again. When one bank turned my account over to the collection agency the transition was not clear to me. Then a woman told me that I would be ruined for credit for 17 years, another that she would never date me because I did not pay my bills. I filed a complaint with the provincial consumer protection agency before I disappeared.
The federal Credit Counselling agency looked at my plan four times and suggested that it would be very hard to make it work. Bankruptcy was not an option if I was ever to obtain my BSc so I held off. Really was there any difference in credit rating if I was not fielding the phone calls from five banks every two weeks?
The anxiety from the medications made me cry for days on end. Since my ex spouse always took care of the finances I had no skills with money. My life was subject to archaeology. It was a ruined civilization. The treatment had failed. They assessed my health and there was a possibility I was cirrhotic, but that was a short lived diagnosis. I found a job where I could make some cash and then I came down with Crohn’s disease. When I phoned from the hospital to discuss my work schedule I was told that I did not have a job anymore. The union joe looked at my anxiety and told me to forget it.
I spent a couple of winter months in a homeless shelter without enough money to buy a postal stamp. I managed to get a phone call off to John LeBlanc who told me not to worry. He told me that I did not have to deal with the financial stuff since he would do all the mediation for me.
Once I had a dream that with a herd of horses galloped in thunderous freedom, changing course in the middle of my life with the exuberant choir of angels trumpeting the success of the new direction. Now in that moment of my dream it was not ‘overly’ dramatic, just very satisfying and assuring. Today I hold on to John’s reassurance with the same reverence.
At present I cannot open a bank account without going through appeals. I work very hard for $10 an hour. It is degrading to have to go to payday loans businesses and give them 3% of my every dollar, plus a fee! Last month one paycheque was enough for rent only; no food.
I sleep on the floor. My liver is painfully swollen due to the Crohn’s medication feeding the hepatitis C. My back, my knees and my ankles are sore to use and sometimes I collapse from my left knee giving out completely. This is from the two autoimmune diseases as well. I see a counsellor to help unlearn the learned helplessness. While I don’t know how long I will be able to work at this job I just don’t have the energy to deal with the rest of my problems. I need 10 hours of sleep due to the Crohn’s disease. I don’t have the energy to prepare meals so on many work days I only eat once a day.
John is very knowledgeable. He informed me of the effects of stress on these diseases. His suggestion was to eat nutritious food such as antioxidants, omega 3 fatty acids, and to supplement the vitamins in particular areas. Now when was the last time you ever heard of an accountant who used those types of terms? Rather than feeling spiritually bankrupt my spirit feels indomitable.
Thank god for John LeBlanc.