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scared to graduate...

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malfyre View Drop Down
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    Posted: 05/July/2012 at 9:43pm
i am nearing the end of school and the future looks so bleak.... i went to school cuz everybody told me thats what i had to do not to be poor, and now because of student debt all i can see in front of me is a life of poverty :\ mine is excessively high because i did 2.5 years of a degree before crashing and burning then dropping out because it was way over my head (due to clinical depression + anxiety disorder + 2 learning disabilities - i was just a train wreck there). after a year and a half to work and recuperate from that failure i tried again and began a 3 yr college program. i reduced the course load so that i would be able to get through and not repeat what happened at uni - this of course added two more semesters to my program, which means more student loan debt. and these changes made me very successfull, i am completely my program with very high grades.... but leaving with like 65k of student loan debt. at least thats what i estimate it will be, i cant bring myself to even log onto the osap website and look at the amount. i also have 6k credit card debt on top of that. the worst part is im not graduating with a degree and expecting to earn bucketloads of money in the future with it. i will have just a college diploma and will surely make more than i would have without it, but with the huge loan payment i might as well be making less than min wage. i am nearing 27, which is not OLD but its old enough that as a female i only have a few years left to get married and have kids, and i will never be able to afford to do it :\ i just cannot believe that student loans are robbing me of so much.

i definitely regret that i listened when everybody told me to make a living i had to go to college. i want to erase the last 6 years. i always struggle with my depression but these last few months when the future has been really sinking in have just been terrible :( i have been living a spartan existence already for so long, my total entertainment costs per month is $25 - $15 for world of warcraft and $10 for netflix - no cable, never going out with friends, never even buying a book. once a month i go visit my parents and they pay for the trip. i wanted to graduate so i could live a better life and now i dread graduating because i will have to reduce MORE and there is no way i can.  idont know what the future will bring but its not going to be good :\
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Johnny View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Johnny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06/July/2012 at 11:30am
What are you graduating with?
Solve Student Debt specializes in solutions for students and graduates in student loan default, and those at risk of defaulting.

solvestudentdebt.com
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malfyre View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote malfyre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06/July/2012 at 8:31pm
business admin-HR 3yr diploma, with payroll compliance practitioner certificate.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote administrator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/July/2012 at 7:32am
You need to practice some balanced thinking here.  You don't know what the future will hold.  Yes you have to live with the debt, but its still possible to have a good life.... I agree its a challenge to live with this, but work on balancing out the negative thoughts with positive ones! For every negative thought you have, come up with a positive one. It will be hard at first (been there!) but with practice you can start to see that some areas of your life can be good.
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Mark O'Meara

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malfyre View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote malfyre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/July/2012 at 8:04pm
i wish i could think of positive things. i have never been the picture of happiness and good mental health but these past few months have had me in a really bad place now that the reality that i am going to leave school and face all this debt is getting nearer. everyday my chest hurts and when i have to think about whats coming i just start to cry. the future is just not good. i cant see how i will be able to afford to live. i have gone over and over how much things will cost for rent, bills, etc and i just cant see how i can afford to live when i have such a huge debt hanging over me. its impossible.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote administrator Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/July/2012 at 7:48am
Dont forget to see if you qualify for the Repayment Assistance Program and apply if you do...

http://www.canlearn.ca/eng/after/repaymentassistance/index.shtml
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Johnny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09/July/2012 at 9:21am
If you are unable to secure employment right out of the gate, or you are working in a position that is for sustainability purposes (like so many grads are doing) then you simply utilize the repayment assistance program that the NSLSC.
When you are dealing with this group, document everything. Names fo who you speak with, times dates, and minutes of your discussions. This is something EVERYONE should be doing with them given the history of problems and errors.
 
Malfyre - the future is good. You worry about NOW. Let today's troubles be sufficient for the day. You and your degree are marketable thus making you employable. So look at the potential for opportunity rather than the weight of burden. However, if you defer yourself to over-thinking too much about the negative then you cannot see the positive, which is pretty much the corner you are pinning yourself into.  
 
If you close your eyes and envision the warm sun and then you put in all of these dark clouds, haze, and fog in front of it then you have obstructed your own vision.   
 
As far as debt is concerned, it is a number. Often times a very big number. Focus on sustainability for yourself. The rest will work itelf out if you play your cards right. If you fall into any situation with the system and need help we are here for you as well. Please, try to focus on the positive things about what you are doing and where you are to go from here. Don't allow negative thought and feelings like that push you in a backward direction.
 
Johnny  
 
 
Solve Student Debt specializes in solutions for students and graduates in student loan default, and those at risk of defaulting.

solvestudentdebt.com
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malfyre View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote malfyre Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12/July/2012 at 8:00pm
thank you guys for the reassurance. i do like this web site because it helps to know i am not the only person who has these problems. i did get some bad news though :( its seems that the grad certificate i wanted to get for payroll has incredibly expensive tuition (10k) and is not covered by OSAP. this is what the college web site seems to say at least and i am looking into but as it stands it looks like i will not be taking it. i was mentally preparing myself for having until january to be ready to deal with these issues and now its going to be in september, much sooner than i thought. this has been stressing me out a lot this week but i am trying not to think about it and just think about my schoolwork for now.

thanks for the info about the repayment assistance plan. i was wondering if you know anything about qualifying for the RAP PD plan. my OSAP file has me marked as person with a disability and i have received the bursary for it. do you know if this means i will qualify for the RAP PD or are the qualifications different?
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